I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize