yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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