I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
