just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize