brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
