am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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