Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this boner is exhausting
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
