im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
