Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
