so that wasnt chicken after all
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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