Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
