i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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