Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
