yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
