Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
