I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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