lets start a swedish sibling band together
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
