She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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