12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
