I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
