My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
3pm strippers are depressing
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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