I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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