smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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