okay pat passed out under dana's car
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
