I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Couch. On fire.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
