Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
