Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
