New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
operation have a gay friend backfired
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
foreskin is a definite game changer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
