haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
