Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
