Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
