i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
