Having a random hookup so left but love u
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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