He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
