You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
