We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
