out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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