your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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