I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
