I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
