I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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