Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
