you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
