so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
