ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
