An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
As shirtless as possible
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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