I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You pole danced in your parka.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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