Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
