i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize