I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
