I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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