Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize