How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
