I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
