i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
