i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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