do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
