so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
