so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
