He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize