Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
