and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
