We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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