Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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